200+ Funny Confucius Quotes and Says for the Humor

Completely opposite than those real inspiring motivational quotes, Confucius says are used for fun and humor. If you also like to share funny Confucius quotes with your friends, you have come to the right place.

In the world of wisdom and philosophy, Confucius stands tall, revered for his deep insights into life, society, and morality. But what happens when you add a twist of humor to his timeless teachings? This blog dives into the lighter side of Confucius, offering a collection of funny Confucius quotes that will bring a smile to your face while still making you think.

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Table of Contents

200+ Funniest Confucius Quotes and Sayings

Here are 30 funny Confucius quotes you can check, there are more after this btw!

Man who runs in front of car gets tired; man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
Man who cuts himself while shaving loses face.
Man who sits on tack gets the point!
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.
House without toilet is uncanny.
Man who fights with wife all day gets no peace at night.
Man who eats too many prunes sits on problem.
Man who pushes piano down mineshaft gets tone of A flat miner.
Man who sits on hot stove will rise again.
Man who throws dirt is losing ground.
Man who puts head in sand will get kicked in the end.
Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
Man who sleeps with itchy feet wakes up with stinky fingers.
Man who plays with fire may end up with burnt fingers.
Man who falls in vat of molten glass makes a spectacle of himself.
Man who puts eggs in one basket might make an omelet.
Man who tells one too many light bulb jokes is dim-witted.
Man who drinks too much makes a good bartender laugh.
Man who criticizes others’ garden will find his own overgrown.
Man who fishes in another’s well may catch more than he bargained for.
Man who stands on mountain top sees the world, but may get altitude sickness.
Man who gets too big for his britches will be exposed in the end.
Man who procrastinates makes easy jobs hard and hard jobs harder.
Man who puts hand on stove doesn’t need to be told it’s hot.
Man who walks with head in clouds must beware of trees.

Funny Confucius Says about Wisdom

Check these 30 funny Confucius sayings about wisdom:

Wise man knows when to keep mouth shut; wiser man knows when to open it.
Foolish man seeks answers, wise man knows which questions to ask.
Man with much knowledge can still make a big mistake.
Wise man doesn’t know everything, but he knows where to find it.
Man who knows nothing speaks loudly; wise man speaks softly and carries a big brain.
Wise man admits his faults; fool denies them and repeats them.
Man who chases two rabbits catches neither, but has a lot of fun trying.
Wisdom is knowing tomato is a fruit; common sense is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Man who thinks he knows it all is most often wrong.
Wise man learns from others’ mistakes; fool makes his own and calls it experience.
Wisdom is like a good meal: better when shared, but some prefer to keep it all to themselves.
Wise man can see through fog; foolish man just gets lost in it.
Knowledge is power, but wisdom is knowing how to use it without blowing things up.
Wise man knows he is not wise, but keeps quiet so others think he is.
Man who knows he doesn’t know much is on the path to wisdom.
Wisdom is realizing you’re not the center of the universe, but acting like you are when needed.
Man who asks for advice may already know the answer but enjoys hearing it from someone else.
Wise man always carries a pen, because wisdom sometimes needs to be written down.
Foolish man demands respect; wise man earns it without trying.
Wise man knows the difference between being busy and being productive.
Man who knows the answer but asks anyway is either wise or testing you.
Wisdom is understanding that even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Man who listens to everyone ends up knowing nothing; wise man knows whom to ignore.
Wise man knows the right time to be silent and the wrong time to speak up.
Man who seeks wisdom should also seek a sense of humor, for wisdom alone can be boring.
Wise man knows when to walk away; fool sticks around for the argument.
Wisdom is knowing when to keep your shoes on in someone else’s home.
Wise man knows the journey is more important than the destination but enjoys both.
Man who knows he cannot know everything is closer to wisdom than the one who thinks he can.
Wise man can admit when he’s wrong, but he usually isn’t.

Funny Confucius Quotes on Life and Success

30 more funny Confucius quotes on life and success:

Life is like a sandwich—no matter which way you flip it, the bread comes first.
Success is like a ladder; those at the top should never look down.
Life is a journey, but sometimes it’s okay to take the scenic route.
The road to success is always under construction.
In life, it’s better to be a tortoise with a plan than a hare with an attitude.
Man who chases two rabbits catches none; better to chase a cheeseburger.
Success is a door marked “push” when it should have been “pull.”
Life is short, so eat dessert first—unless it’s pudding.
The secret to success is starting before you’re ready.
Life is like a mirror; it only smiles back when you do.
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another without losing enthusiasm.
Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans—and forgetting them.
Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration, and 100% avoiding distractions.
Life is like a game of chess; sometimes it’s better to be a pawn with a plan.
Success is like wrestling a gorilla; you don’t quit when you’re tired, you quit when the gorilla is tired.
Life is what you make of it, so try not to make a mess.
Success comes to those who wait, but only after those who hustle.
Life is like a bicycle; to keep your balance, you must keep moving—unless you’re on a stationary bike.
Success is knowing which ladder to climb and which snakes to avoid.
In life, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years—and maybe a good nap.
Success is not the key to happiness; happiness is the key to success—and good Wi-Fi.
Life is like a cup of tea; it’s all in how you make it, but sometimes it’s too hot to handle.
Success is like a snowball; it takes time to build, but once it’s rolling, watch out!
Life is what you make it, so if you don’t like it, change the recipe.
Success is being able to laugh at yourself without needing a reason.
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go—especially of junk mail.
Success is waking up each morning, putting on your pants, and being ready to conquer the world—or at least breakfast.
Life is like a camera; focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.
Success is a journey, not a destination, but it helps to have a good map—and maybe some snacks.
Life is what you bake of it, so be sure to add plenty of sweetness and avoid burnt edges.

Confucius Says on Hard Work

Check funny Confucius says quotes on hard work, now with suitable emojis:

Man who works hard all day gets very tired, but at least he sleeps soundly. 😴
Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance? 🤷‍♂️
Man who digs with a small shovel takes longer, but builds bigger muscles. 💪
Hard work is the yeast that raises the dough, but too much work and you get burnt toast. 🍞🔥
Man who sweats more in practice sweats less in stress. 💦
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese—so work smarter, not harder. 🐦🧀
Hard work is like a staircase; you may not see the top, but each step takes you closer. 🪜
Man who works hard by day, sleeps hard by night, and dreams of weekends. 😴💭
Hard work is the engine that drives success, but don’t forget to stop for gas. 🚗⛽
Man who works with both hands is better than man who only works with one—unless he’s juggling. 🤹‍♂️
Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard, but talent plus hard work is unstoppable. 🏆
Man who plants trees works hard, but shade and fruit are worth the effort. 🌳🍎
Hard work is like trying to push a boulder uphill; it’s tough, but at least you build strong legs. 🪨🏋️‍♂️
Man who breaks sweat every day will find his shirt in the laundry more often. 👕🧺
Hard work pays off in the future, but laziness pays off now. 💰😌
Man who puts in the hours, gets the reward—or at least a coffee break. ☕
Hard work is the price of admission to the theater of success. 🎟️🎭
Man who chops his own wood warms himself twice, but also needs a hot bath. 🪓🔥🛁
Hard work is a path to success, but make sure you’re on the right road. 🛤️🏆
Man who works hard and plays hard eventually gets very, very tired. 🛌😴
Hard work is like a hammer; it can shape your future or wear you out. 🔨
Man who pushes himself to the limit often finds the limit is just a bit farther. 🚀
Hard work and perseverance are the keys to success, but sometimes the lock is rusty. 🔑🚪
Man who works hard for a penny learns the value of a dollar. 💵
Hard work is like a treadmill; you may not move forward, but you sure do sweat a lot. 🏃‍♂️💦
Man who digs well finds water; man who digs too much finds blisters. 💧🚰
Hard work is the mother of success, but even mothers need a break. 👩‍👧🛌
Man who puts his nose to the grindstone must also mind his nose. 👃🪚
Hard work is the foundation of achievement, but sometimes a nap is the roof. 🏠💤
Man who gives 110% must also have 10% extra somewhere. 🤔➕

Confucius Funny Lines for Good Morning Wish

Here are 30 funny Confucius-inspired lines for a good morning wish:

Good morning! Even the rooster knows when to crow; let’s hope your alarm clock is just as smart. 🐓⏰
Morning is the first step of the day, so make sure you’re headed in the right direction. 🚶‍♂️☀️
Man who wakes up early gets a head start on the day—or at least on the coffee. ☕🌅
Good morning! The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets to sleep in. 😴🧀
Rise and shine! The sun is up, and so should you be—unless you’re nocturnal. 🌞🌛
Morning is like a fresh cup of coffee; it’s best when it’s hot and full of energy. ☕🔥
Man who greets the morning with a smile starts the day off right—or at least confuses the alarm clock. 😃⏰
Good morning! Remember, today is a blank page, so write something worth reading—after your coffee. 📖☕
The early bird gets the worm, but man who stays in bed dreams of pancakes. 🐦🥞
Morning is the best time to make plans—before reality wakes up. 🗓️🛌
Good morning! Man who wakes with enthusiasm starts the day on the right foot—or at least with both feet out of bed. 🚶‍♂️👣
Morning is the start of a new adventure—so grab your map, and maybe a GPS. 🗺️📍
Man who wakes up grumpy missed his date with the snooze button. 😠🔔
Good morning! The sun is shining, and so should your smile—unless you’re still in bed. 🌞😄
Morning is like a new pair of shoes; it’s best to break it in slowly. 👟☀️
Man who greets the day with a yawn should have gone to bed earlier. 😴💤
Good morning! Today is full of possibilities—just make sure you don’t hit “snooze” on them. ⏰✨
Morning is a fresh start, so hit the ground running—just watch out for the doorframe. 🏃‍♂️🚪
Man who embraces the morning gets a hug from success—or at least a good stretch. 🤗🌄
Good morning! The rooster has crowed, the sun is up, and the day is yours—go get it! 🐓🌞
Morning is like a clean slate; just be careful not to spill your coffee on it. 📝☕
Man who rises early catches the sunrise, but also catches cold if he forgets his jacket. 🌅🧥
Good morning! The day is new, and so are your opportunities—time to make the most of them. 🆕🎯
Morning is a chance to start over—so let’s make today better than yesterday. 🌞🔄
Man who wakes up happy has already won the first battle of the day. 🏆😄
Good morning! The sky’s the limit today—unless you forgot your ladder. 🌤️🪜
Morning is like a fresh breeze; take a deep breath and enjoy it—before it turns into a whirlwind. 🌬️😌
Man who faces morning with a smile will find that the day smiles back. 😊☀️
Good morning! The day is bright, and so should be your attitude—unless you need sunglasses. 😎🌅
Morning is a new beginning, so step out with confidence—just watch out for puddles. 🚶‍♂️💧

Summary:

In this article, we’ve explored a collection of humorous Confucius-inspired quotes, offering a light-hearted take on wisdom, hard work, success, and everyday life. From quirky takes on morning routines and the value of persistence to playful observations on human nature, these Confucius quotes blend ancient wisdom with modern humor.

They remind us that while life may be serious at times, a little laughter can go a long way in navigating challenges. Whether you’re looking for a chuckle or a witty reflection, these quotes provide both entertainment and insight, proving that wisdom and humor can go hand in hand.

I hope you liked all these humorous and funny Confucius quotes and says that are going on mouth to mouth. Share with your friends, and visit Quotelander for more information.

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