Here we have brought the best Funny Bible Quotes . Which will make you laugh and make you feel fun. We take the bible seriously. But our aim is to show you laughter and humour so that you get happiness and fun. So if you are searching for funny bible quotes then this is the right post for you.
Reading good quotes boosts your humour and thinking ability. If you like reading quotes daily then you can read our ” Powerful Bible Quotes ” post.
Funny Bible Quotes to Brighten Your Day
“God created the heavens and the earth, but He still couldn’t resist making Mondays.”
“Jesus turned water into wine, so technically, He was the first one to make a drink on the rocks.”
“Thou shalt not worry about calories; after all, manna from heaven didn’t have nutritional facts.”
“God made Eve from Adam’s rib, so I guess He decided men were worth at least a good rib-eye.”
“I asked God for patience, and He gave me toddlers. Well played, God. Well played.”
“God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light—then He probably needed a nap afterward.”
“David didn’t just defeat Goliath—he proved that good things come in small, slingshot-sized packages.”
“Moses didn’t just part the Red Sea; he probably needed a good spa day after all that drama.”
“Noah spent 40 days on a boat with animals, and we’re complaining about waiting for the Wi-Fi to load.”
“Jesus didn’t say ‘Thou shalt not have fun.’ He just made sure the fun always had a purpose.”
“The Lord is my shepherd, but sometimes I wish He could shepherd me out of doing laundry.”
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me—except, apparently, keep my house clean.”
“Let there be light… and then let there be coffee.”
“When God made woman, He said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone’—and man definitely agreed after a week of microwaved dinners.”
“If you don’t think God has a sense of humor, just remember He made the platypus.”
“I’m just trying to live like Jesus—minus the whole crucifixion part, of course.”
“Even Jesus took naps—so if you’re tired, you’re basically just following His example.”
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Wi-Fi, especially when they’re binge-watching Netflix.”
“The Bible says, ‘Thou shalt not steal,’ but I’m pretty sure it didn’t consider my sibling’s fries fair game.”
“God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and it was good. But I bet He was wishing for a dimmer switch by the end of the day.”
Best funny quotes on bible
“And the two shall become one flesh.” — Genesis 2:24
Guess God was a fan of teamwork.
“Be fruitful and multiply.” — Genesis 1:28
No pressure or anything.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.” — Song of Solomon 1:2
Apparently, the Bible was way ahead on romance advice.
“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.” — Song of Solomon 7:10
When the Bible’s saying it better than a rom-com.
“Drink your fill of love.” — Song of Solomon 5:1
The original ‘love potion.’
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” — Song of Solomon 4:7
When you need the ultimate pickup line.
“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” — Proverbs 5:18
When the Bible is both romantic and practical.
“Your love is better than wine.” — Song of Solomon 1:2
Who needs Chardonnay when you’ve got this kind of love?
“His arms are rods of gold.” — Song of Solomon 5:14
Biblical abs of steel.
“Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine.” — Song of Solomon 7:2
When romance meets a bit of ancient poetry.
“Let his left hand be under my head, and his right hand embrace me.” — Song of Solomon 2:6
The Bible knows a thing or two about good hugs.
“I have found the one whom my soul loves.” — Song of Solomon 3:4
Bible-approved soulmate vibes.
“Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit.” — Song of Solomon 7:7
Definitely the ancient version of a compliment.
“Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread.” — Song of Solomon 4:16
Sounds like someone’s ready for a romantic evening!
“How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!” — Song of Solomon 1:15
Nothing like a classic compliment.
Short Funny Bible Quotes
“Thou shalt not worry—God’s got it covered.”
“Let there be coffee—and there was peace.”
“Man does not live on bread alone… but bread and butter? Maybe.”
“God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve… but He did make Eve from a rib, so clearly He’s got a sense of humor.”
“Jesus loves you, but I’m His favorite.”
“The Lord is my shepherd, but I still need coffee before I talk to Him.”
“Thou shalt not covet… except when it’s a donut.”
“Karma is God’s way of saying, ‘I told you so.’”
“God’s plan: I’ll be in charge. You just try not to mess it up.”
“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth… and then He created naps.”
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you—unless you’re in traffic, then do unto them as you see fit.”
“God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and then He probably added, ‘I hope they turn it off when they leave.’”
“Faith can move mountains—if only it could move my laundry pile.”
“The Bible says, ‘Thou shalt not steal’—unless you’re taking the last cookie. God might forgive that one.”
“Jesus didn’t call shotgun, but He definitely rode in the front seat.”
funny quotes about bible
“Even God took a day off—maybe we should, too!”
“When life feels like the Book of Job, just remember: he got double in the end.”
“If manna fell from heaven today, would we still complain it’s not gluten-free?”
“God parted the Red Sea, so maybe He can handle the traffic on your morning commute.”
“Jesus turned water into wine, which tells me He understood how stressful life can be!”
“The Bible says ‘be still,’ but my coffee says ‘not yet.’”
“If God counted every hair on my head, I just hope He stopped counting after my 30s.”
“Turning the other cheek might sound holy, but sometimes I need divine help just to bite my tongue.”
“They say God moves in mysterious ways, which must explain Mondays.”
funny quotes about bible“Remember, even Noah needed to double-check his packing list!”
“I’ve got the faith of a mustard seed—but also the patience of a coffee addict.”
“If Jonah could survive in a fish, surely I can survive my emails for one more day.”
“When the Bible says to ‘love thy neighbor,’ it clearly hadn’t met my neighbor’s lawnmower at 7 AM.”
“God promised us daily bread, but He didn’t say anything about cupcakes. That’s all me.”
“Moses spent 40 years in the wilderness, so I guess my 30 minutes stuck in traffic isn’t that bad.”
“They say God gives his toughest battles to His strongest soldiers. Is that why I keep misplacing my keys?”
funny quotes about bible“The Bible says ‘fear not,’ but it didn’t mention anything about spiders.”
“David faced Goliath, so I should be able to handle laundry on a Sunday.”
“The Lord is my shepherd… but it wouldn’t hurt if He threw in a GPS now and then.”
“God made the world in six days, so maybe I can manage this to-do list by tomorrow.”
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” – Matthew 6:34
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1
“The Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and she said to Balaam, ‘What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?'” – Numbers 22:28
“Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.” – Proverbs 10:4
“I am the bread of life.” – John 6:35
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit?” – 1 Corinthians 6:19
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Matthew 22:39
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
“If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away.” – Matthew 5:29
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” – Proverbs 9:10
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?” – Matthew 5:13
“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” – Acts 20:35
Read More : Explore Beautiful Empty Nest Quotes and Images
Conclusion
There should be fun in life which keeps happiness and humour in life. So this post was in that context and I hope that this post must have made you laugh. If you have enjoyed reading this post of funny Bible quotes, then you must share this post with your friends.
If you want to read more quotes then you can visit here our site. www.quotelander.com .